Great loss, great blessing...

One year ago today. Unbelievable. On this day last year, Daddy continued his life with Jesus. He worshiped God in person. And I wondered how I would ever function normally again. But, of course, God has blessed. He has under girded me and folded me in His arms. And I do function. I have a different normal, created and sustained by my Heavenly Father. Today, though it still hurts, I can think of him and realize once again all the blessings from my relationship with him without being overwhelmed by my loss. I still don't like it. Can you be submissive and still a bit disgruntled? Either somehow you can or the Lord is continuing to be gentle and patient with me.....probably the latter. Today we will gather at his grave and miss him and love him and...love mama through this day...

Today's Daddy's birthday....

Thanksgiving was hard. Christmas was difficult. But today's Daddy's birthday. Another "first" for the fam. I can finally talk about him without tearing up (at least). Memories are triggered and I can smile. Finally, life seems "doable" again. It has been a difficult journey with lessons abounding. I appreciate more. I am more sensitive to the grief others carry. Each day is more precious to me. I always knew tomorrow was not guaranteed to us. Now I know that better.

Daddy left us with a desire to do more, to serve God better. Even as he is gone from us, we want to make him proud. We choose to honor him by continuing his love for ministry in our own lives. His influence carries us through each day as we imagine his smile, his voice, his love and his laughter. He will be with us forever.

I do not begin to try to understand God's ways. I sometimes struggle with why my daddy is gone while other daddys remain. It is selfish, really. Neither do I understand why I was so supremely blessed while others are not. It's all part of His amazing plan for His children. It all works together. It's all good. It's all true, 'cause GOD IS REAL....