Over at Mom's. Out in the laundry room helping her find some throat lozenges. Open up the medicine cabinet. Laying on the bottom shelf......Daddy's comb. Quickly look away, close the door....hope Mom didn't notice it. While she's not looking, slip the comb out and tuck it in my pocket. Daddy. Will this grieving never end? It's the little things that sneak up and catch you unawares, unprepared. They jump out and nick your heart before you can ready your defenses.
Often, I'm asked, "How are you? How's your family doing?" I have yet to find a realistic answer to that question. It depends. Right now? Ten minutes from now when I come across Dad's comb? "Mostly good" is how I usually respond.
Slowly I'm trying to understand what's the normal process. I'm finding the grieving is many faceted. On the outside, I might seem okay, normal (whatever that is...). But, I can't focus, can't process simple information. I never feel rested. I get so frustrated with myself because I still can't function at previous levels. In talking with the sibs I find I am not alone. All of our experiences are similar in some way or another. Even as we express gratitude to the Lord for how the whole experience has unfolded, and how He has walked with us each step, we struggle to make sense of this new episode of life.
Inch by inch. Step by step. He shows us the way......
I don't think there is a "normal" process; BUT, if there is - what you are experiencing is completely "normal". It is very similar to what I went through. Rick did the grocery shopping for weeks because I just couldn't think about it. It was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other and go to school each day and somehow "go through the motions". It is still very early, Robyn. I felt all the things that you describe in your post - any my heart breaks for you and for your family. It takes a good while for the "heart" and the "head" to connect. I love you and pray for you and your family daily!
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