This is where I rest.....

And so.....life goes on. God brings trials into our lives, provides His mercy and grace to get through them and then leads us forward, on into life, with its new normalcy.

I find myself asking, "So, what have I learned? How have I grown, been changed? How has this experience made me more like Christ?"

Because I know all things work together for good Rom 8:28
For me to live is Christ (not myself)Phil.1:21
If I walk uprightly, I will enter into peace Is 57:1-2
My ways are not His ways Is 55:8
I will count it all joy when.... James 1:2
I can do all things through Christ Phil 4:13
God takes my hand and will help me Is 43:13
If He is directing me, I do not have to understand Prov 20:24
He is the strength of my heart Ps 73:26
As my heart seeks His, I will rejoice Ps 105:3
GOD IS REAL-Jack Dean

I cannot allow this excruciating experience to go on without determining its profit in my life. It MUST be worth the cost. My realization is that to be able to grow in relationship with Him, I WILL continue to struggle through situations similar to losing Daddy. They are necessary and right as part of my Christian life. He uses them as tools to teach me and mold me. I want this transformation. I think. At least in theory, I do. But the cost? Am I willing? Desirous even? Yes. No. Okay. Okay. No. This is where I must fall into His loving arms and say, "Whatever!" Yes, whatever You do, I know You love me. Whatever comes, You know what is best for me. Whatever crosses my path, You promise to walk with me, hold me up when necessary, reassure me constantly.

This is where I rest. I leave my life in His hands. I know I can't do it. Often I don't want it. Always I want to submit to His plan..."that Christ may be magnified in my body whether by life or by death. For me to live is Christ...."